Clarity, Part 1

In this post I identify the four main topics I choose to edit for in my QRG. The Rules for Writers textbook gave information on how to improve in these four areas, and below is my reflection about these different topics. 

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Public Domain License. 

Active Verbs

In high school one of my English teachers really hated passive voice, so we spent weeks learning how to completely exclude it from our writing. When I saw active verbs listed in the cover of Rules for Writers, I wasn't surprised, but I did realize that they had slipped back into my writing. 

I agree that using active verbs helps make the sentences more clear by distinguishing a clear subject and linking the action to them. But I was pleasantly surprised to see that the book acknowledged that active voice, like passive voice, has a time and a place to be used.   

Wordy Sentences 

I typically struggle with keeping my sentences short and concise. I really enjoyed the table provided that showed some alternative phrases to use to try and cut out the unneeded words from different sentences.

I also found it very interesting that the book mentioned that word's connotations could be used to eliminate other descriptive words. One example provided in the book was "hurriedly scribbled" replaced with "scribbled" because scribbled implies fast writing.  

Mixing Constructions 

This one of many parts of grammar that I have always struggled with, which is terrible since the idea is very simple, in a sentence the verbs should all be in the same tense. I knew that writing in multiple tenses wasn't preferred, but I enjoyed that the book explained why.  

As writer we try to make our text as easy for the reader as possible. Similar to the other ideas in the book, mixed constructions gives more work to the reader as they try and decipher the the text. 

Parallel Ideas 

I have had teachers in the past talk about writing parallel sentences, but no one every gave an explanation why. From the Rules for Writers textbook I learned that presenting information in parallel ways make it easier for the reader to understand and read. 

The example that made the most sense to me referred to presenting information in a list. When giving a list of things the book suggested formatting the components separated by the commas in a similar manor. 

REFLECTION 
While peer editing I learned that some of my classmates also struggle in some of the same areas that I identified above. However, these topics are rather hard to edit for. In particular I found wordy sentences hard to identify as they are subjective to each reader, but I tried to give suggestions whenever I could.

I peer-edited Trey's QRG on F-35 Fighter Planes. While reading through his draft I tried to help with the formatting and including the conventions of a QRG. One example of trying to help make his sentences less wordy was when introducing one of his quotes. Because there is so much information to include in addition to the quote the sentence can start to feel like a run-on. His sentence read, "When Ashton Carter was head f procurement at the Pentagon, he noted that,"..." in reference to the F-35 program." I suggested moving the "in reference to the F-35 program" before the quote, to help it not get lost behind the quote and to make the sentence feel less wordy.

I also peer-edited Isabel's QRG on a Gluten-Free Diet. In her QRG I also tried to edit for wordy sentences. One sentence that stuck out to me was talking about why people get involved in the debate over gluten-free diets. Her sentence read, "The reality of the situation is this diet craze will phase along with the rest of them,..." When I read this sentence I didn't there was any obvious errors, but it was a little wordy and could be made more concise. I suggested that it could be changed to read, The reality is this diet craze will fade like its predecessors...